Solid Rock Star Status: Lame.

11.30.2008

So I haven't posted in a while. I had to have my appendix removed a couple nights ago and I'm still feeling pretty whack. I had to cancel my tour in Colorado so I'm sorry to all my fans there. The doctors won't let me be on the plane. I'm not supposed to work out for two weeks either. I'm going to be so fat after this...

Leave me some love.

Being a Rock Star

Don't give out your cell number. Have people email you.
Don't pull your family or loved ones in the spotlight. As far as anyone knows, you're an orphan.
Remember where you came from.
Start nasty rumors then make people feel bad when they spread them.
Have a Blackberry
Pick an opinion and stick with it. Even if someone is making you change your mind, don't let anyone know you changed your mind.
Don't compromise your well being for attention.
Take EVERYTHING to the next level.
Only purchase ripped jeans.
Don't wear dress shoes. EVER.
Stay neutral in Celebrity world. Make all your problems internal. You don't want to share a cover with anyone.
Follow fads but add you're own flair.
Get enough sleep. It's not the 80's and you don't have groupies. HIV is real.
Stand next to the ugliest people in group shots. You'll look the best in the picture for sure.
Expect anything to happen.
Jump around in your outfit before you go out.
Don't pass a mirror without a quick one-two.
If you accidently break something, say you did it on purpose and throw a fit.
Don't be humble.
Even if they're talking ish, at least they're talking.
Smiling reminds everyone their teeth are less white and straight than yours.
You're a tease, not a whore.
Being honest is better than letting them wear "that outfit".
Be jealous of anything you don't have but DO NOT show it.
Always cause a scene.
Always look your best. Even if you think your outfit sucks, pretend it's hot. If you can't pretend, throw the clothes away.
Be unique, but don't be a weirdo.
Dance on tables.
Don't wear the sunglasses covering your eyes out doors after 9pm. You won't be able to see.
Flaunt everything you have.
Let the Haters hate.
Stay sober. Alcohol gives them an easy attack.
Wear sunglasses inside is after 9pm. Prior to 9pm you just look like a stoner.
Yell at people who think they're better than everyone else.
Remind everyone you're better than them.

Solid Rock Star Status

Lame.

2 comments:

Wear Your Ray Bans

Don't Live in the Past

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Being a Rock Star

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